The TSA Pokey Pokey in Pittsburgh
Thursday, June 9, 2011 at 9:38PM Here we go again, I thought.
The TSA has guidelines to give extra screening to those who show 'contempt' or disdain for the TSA procedures... and they do an excellent job of doing this, because I have NOTHING but disdain for the TSA and almost EVERY time I go through I get extra screening.
I just can't bring myself to bow my head down or make happy mindless chit-chat with the TSA Gestapo like the throngs of braying sheeple around me.
"Thank you," said the third TSA person IN A ROW whose sole job is to, apparently, look quizzingly at your boarding pass, squint and then dutifully tick off your name with a pink pen. She handed me my boarding pass and I moved on to what was likely the fourth TSA robot to try to magically divine from the look of my boarding pass if I was a threat to the nation.
"I said thank you!" snapped the TSA agent I had just passed.
I looked back at her, "I heard you the first time."
Oohh, they didn't like that. Not one bit.
I was at Pittsburgh International Airport after having attended a gathering I was graciously invited to by Porter Stansberry's organization - unfortunately I felt quite ill my time there... something that happens to me a lot whenever I am in the US or Canada. Not sure if it's a lack of sunlight, chemtrails or just a general allergic reaction to all the laws, rules and regulations, but I regularly feel unwell when I leave my beach hide-out in Southern Mexico - so I unfortunately couldn't enjoy too much of my time with Stansberry's group.
So, after two days of being in bed - part of the reason for my lack of blogs this week - I found myself sniffling, coughing and dealing with my nemesis, the TSA.
The main security checkpoint had, literally, 500+ people waiting in line and I had gone upstairs to a "secondary security checkpoint" which had less people but had Michael Chertoff's mandatory Backscatter X-Ray machine. There was a normal metal detector but they weren't even using it at all... everyone was being put through the X-ray machine for a radiation bath and nude viewing. I don't mind the nude viewing - if someone wants to see me naked, they are welcome to it. But I prefer to avoid getting radiation at 45 times the level the Government states, according to an Arizona State physics professor.
I knew what was coming as I told them, as always, "I'm not going through that thing."
"Opt out!", "Opt out!" the TSA drone shouted.
This time it took even longer than normal for them to come around. Nearly 15 minutes. He then, as always, felt every part of my body for about 5 minutes. This time, however, after he finished he put his gloves through some sort of a machine.
As alarms started going off on the machine I just stood in disbelief. A number of TSA borgs ran over - it appeared to cause quite a disturbance.
Finally, after a pow-wow, one of the supervisor TSA guys came over to tell me that they were going to have to do a second screening - this time in a private room.
I was then ushered into a small room with three other TSA guys and we went through all the same procedure. They checked every part of my body for another 5 minutes while one of them filled out a form.
Finally, discouraged, they couldn't find anything. "You're free to go," stated one of them.
"What was the alarm about?" I queried.
"It detected a small amount of pharmaceuticals. Were you in a pharmacy or anything recently?"
"No," I responded, "So this was all because you thought I may have been in a pharmacy recently?"
"It's the protocol," he stated, matter of factly.
It was, yet again, another 30 minutes spent in the fine company of some of the US Government's finest.
The most irritating part is when you consider what the alternative is. In a free-market... in other words, in a place nothing like the US, airlines would have their own security systems.
People would have their choice of flying with Paranoid Airlines and being strip searched prior to boarding if they like. And others, like me, would choose to pay less and go for Protect Yo'Self Airlines, where some of the passengers would walk up to the aircraft outfitted like Neo in the classic scene from The Matrix.
For the record, I'd also fly the airline that NEVER made you sit through ear-blistering, useless, monotous "for your safety" instructions including "how to use a seat belt", the airline that let you listen to or use an electronic device in the 30 minutes prior to or after departure (because it has NO effect on the airplane) and the airline that gave you the option of parachuting out at any time you felt you wish to get off.
The point is, however, in a free-market you would have a choice. If you chose to buy a ticket on Paranoid Airlines then you would be aware of their security procedures and would have no right to complain unless they did something they weren't supposed to.
And, like all things in the free-market, all airlines would have it in their best interest to ensure that none of their planes ever crashed because of a lack of security. They'd make intelligent decisions how to best ensure the safety of their passengers for the least amount of expenditure and aggravation.
And, unlike the TSA, if any of their security people were complained about, they'd be fired.
The free-market has such an eloquent answer for everything.
Some may state that prior to the TSA, security screening was contracted out to private companies - but it was far from a free market system - it was highly regulated, as are most things in the US. Still, who can honestly look at airport security prior to 9/11 and post 9/11 and think that things have improved?
Only those who would have flown Paranoid Airlines and think that it is up to the Government to protect them would consider this an improved system.
So, thanks to them, and the US Government, we all must play the TSA Pokey Pokey for eternity. I, for one, look for any opportunity I can to avoid any flight connections or even trips to the US for this reason - and I doubt I'm alone.
Reader Comments (9)
What a pathetically sorry state of affairs we exist in nowadays......I can't even believe we have fallen so low as to have to exist like this......make one want to scream !!!
Jeff, I've disagreed with you several times lately, but not on this. Well said!
In a free market, I would choose the posting system without all the confusing letters to punch in!
The American people are a disgrace. Why they stand by and accept tyranny is beyond me. Its so bad that my 80 yr old father (80 fucking years old) went in to a 7/11 store to buy a beer, and they had the audacity to ID him? When he said "kid, do I look 21 to you" the kid responded, "of course not, but I have to, its the law" That is itself the problem: The Law. Another story of police state tactics: I made a right turn on a red and was video taped "breaking the law", so I was sent a picture of my car and a ticket for $50. I responded by photgraphing a WORTHLESS $50 fiat note and sending the picture to the wretched STATE. They responded by lowering my ticket to $25. Guess it pays to stand up to tyranny? America is fucked and rightfully deserves all the inconviences and loss of freedom it gets because people behave like SHEEP and love the government and military: dont.'t forget "they are heroes". Fucking sick joke its become. Acapulco looks better by the second.
I absolutely love your posts on the TSA.
It is sickening what is going on here. I remember when I wore my "9/11 was an Inside Job" t-shirt through security. They were looking at me like I was crazy. Just like you, I opted out and had to wait a while.
My flight was JUST about to leave and I told the guy, he responded "You'll wait however long I want you to wait!"
The only other two people that I had seen "opt out" of tyranny were old people. An older man was finishing up being frisked right in front of me and he started laughing quietly, I joined him, and it seemed as though both of us were laughing at the insanity of it all.
I was going through with a colleague (one that is going on to study Political Science at that) and they took the old sheep approach, go along to get along, "just go through the scanner."
Never! I am not a number! I am a FREE MAN!
I too can't wait to leave Fascistan and return to Mexico, where I currently reside as well.
P.S. I'm wondering about which politically incorrect shirt I'll wear next trip.
Prisoner #6: Where in Mexico do you reside? Feel free to email me directly (the same address where our blog comes from works)... it's always nice to meet like minded people who live in the same region
I live part of the year in Mexico and am planning to spend even longer next year--maybe permanently. We like San Blas, Nayarit, but want to find someplace cooler to spend the summer months--in the mountains near Oaxaca perhaps or Zacatecas. I'm interested to know where your southern Mex hide-away is (Yucatan?) and if you spend summer there as well. Thanks.
From the sounds of it you live way down south.
I live in Guadalajara. And travel a bit in the vicinity on the weekend, every so often to the beach out west.
But if any of y'all are passing through, I'd be glad to buy you lunch!
Contact: hrvoje4 [at] gmail [dot] com
Hi Chris and Prisoner, I live in Acapulco. I have a little hotel here (http://LTGPS.com) and a company that renovates and sells condos on the beach (http://acacondos.com) and then can rent out the condos in the hotel when the owners aren't using them. If you ever want to come down I'll give you a good deal in the hotel. As for your question about staying here for the summer, I have for the last 3 years but this year I am looking to maybe leave for part of July/Aug... its pretty hot and crowded (with Mex tourists) during those months so they are my least favorite... but it's still paradise on the beach, every day of the year. Feel free to add me on Facebook and keep in touch. I always like to meet fellow like-minded Mexico expatriates